come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
