you guys were way drunker than both of me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My cat gives me a boner
it was like eating out sand paper
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
