I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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