Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
