Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
