Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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