what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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