Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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