ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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