i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I am naked and annoyed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
