I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
