do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
