she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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