Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
