dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
