He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
