I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize