my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
