You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
