It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this hospital has no fireball
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
