Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
