Jerry, you need to find god
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
