we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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