She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
