it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize