This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
