I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
