They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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