He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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