I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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