i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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