well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
