There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
