you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
