the condom got lost in my hair
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
