You can't special order awesome
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
