1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
