walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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