it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
