Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
