dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
