i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
