Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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