I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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