It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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