Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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