and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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