I need help removing her.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
