Screwed.edu
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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