Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
