Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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