youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
