I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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