one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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