i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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