hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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