oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
