Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got chris browned last night
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
