when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
