Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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