i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He shit in the fireplace
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
