All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize