I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's on the porch naked. Help.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
