You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
