She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
