At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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