I wanna passion pit in your ass
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
