did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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