Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize