It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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