hotel room ftw
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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