seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize